21 Examples Of How Not To Write.

Here are some hilarious examples of bad writing from my journalism book. They are statements made on insurance forms by car drivers attempting to summarize the details of their accidents in the fewest words possible.

I was innocently studying my book in the school coffee lounge when I came upon this. I was laughing so hard people were looking at me strangely. #16 absolutely kills me! Although you have to feel kind of bad...

1.      Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

2.      The other car collided with mine without warning of its intentions.

3.      I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

4.      I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

5.      A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

6.      The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

7.      I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

8.      In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

9.      I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

10.  I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

11.  My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

12.  The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

13.  A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

14.  As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

15.  I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

16.  I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

17.  I told police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

18.  An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

19.  The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

20.  The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.

21.  To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I hit a pedestrian.